Monday, 18 June 2012

Pete Wearn - The Smash Hits interview...

Teen pop magazine Smash Hits have not yet called for an interview, an oversight that I'm totally sure is only down to them stopping printing it in 2006 and is nothing to do with the fact that niche genre musicians with tiny followings weren't ever on their radar...

Anyway, for those of you who've been waiting for it, I dug up some questions they asked 'H' from Steps in 1999 and put on my best teen-sensation t-shirt.

1. How well mannered are you?
Surely everyone is going to say that they're well mannered? Who's really going to admit that they eat with their mouth open, break wind in confined spaces and leave heavy doors to swing shut in elderly ladies' faces? Of course I'm perfectly well mannered and do none of those things...

2. Do you ever check your hair when passing a shop window?
If I've gone to the trouble of looking smart then I'll be checking it in shop windows, car mirrors, duck ponds, the side of the kettle, anything reflective really. I don't believe anyone who claims otherwise either.

3. Are you misunderstood?
Only when I attempt to speak Spanish.

4. When was the last time you fell over?
Just now - I was working on some recording and tripped over the tangled mess of wires on the floor. I'm not the tidiest of people to be honest.

5. Do you ever cheat at Monopoly?
We haven't played Monopoly in our house since 2007. It's easier to remain friends that way.

6. Who do you think are the most over-rated band around?
I don't know, U2?, Coldplay?, Snow Patrol?, anyone who's ever been near that god-awful X-factor programme? There's rather a lot of depressingly bland music out there to choose from and to be completely honest I struggle to remember the names of the worst acts..

7. What was your biggest hair disaster?
The 1990s.

8. Cows moo, sheep baa, pigs oink, what do goldfish do?
Not a lot. The loudest noise that comes from mine is the buzz of their filter which ruins all my home recordings if I don't remember to unplug them first.

TOUGH COOKIE
9. When was the last time someone tried to punch you?

Some years ago. I was walking past someone on some pub steps whilst visiting my sister in Newcastle and he actually asked what I was looking at...

10. Where would you like to live when you're older?
Some kind of Bond villain lair. I'm thinking a hollowed out volcano would be fun.

11. The answer is 'no way, no way'...what's the question?
Which 1997 hit was voted 'worst music video ever'?

12. Are you terrified at the thought of going down the dumper?
I'm not entirely sure whether this question is intended to refer to my music career, in which case I've never really ascended any great heights to fall from, or some pathological fear of falling into the lavatory, in which case my behind is more than ample to prevent such issues.

13. Are you ever mistaken for another famous person?
Ha - "another famous person"! Someone told me I looked like Ewan McGregor the other day, which was nice. Usually they tell me I look like Richard Branson, which is less nice.

JAMMY DODGER
14. Do you have a special pair of 'pulling' pants?

No. Although if I think anyone else might be seeing me in my pants I do try and find a pair without too many holes in.

15. What last made you really angry?
The sheer stupidity of our elected representatives who appear to have forgotten what every GCSE history student knows, and decided to cause a depression by doing exactly the same things that caused the last one in the 1930s.

16. Are you a lover or a fighter?
I suppose I have to say 'lover', although I'd hardly profess to have a natural aptitude for either approach to life. 'Drinker' might be a more appropriate label.

17. When was the last time you caught the bus?
About 18 months ago. My car was in the garage and I'd missed the last train.

18. Do you believe in life after death?
No. I'd like to think some of my music might outlive me though.

19. What's your favourite drink?
Beer. Single Malt. Coffee. It depends what time of day it is and what's in my hand at any moment to be honest.

20. Have you ever had a dream about someone famous?
None that are clean enough to share.

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